Have you ever just sat, pondered your current life situation and thought, “why me“? Not just in bad times, but even in good…
Life isn’t perfect. Jeffrey and I got hit hard with “life” the first few years of our relationship. Miscarriage, stressful pregnancy and rough labor, complicated health for our child (and health scares for myself), in the middle of moving and home renovations and new jobs. This bundle of life’s curveballs didn’t come over 10 or even 5 years. It came back to back or simultaneously, in about two years. So now, our son’s health is better than ever. Jeffrey’s new job is one of the biggest blessings to our home life and financial goals. And, I’m a stay at home Mom in a charming brick home bordered with perennial gardens and amazing neighbors. We’ve also been finding ourselves in growth through our church! What. Is. This. Perfection!?
I thank God for the blessings every single day but part of me can’t help but wonder, when does the shit hit the fan again? I know life just naturally has it’s ups and downs but these past couple of months seem too good to be real. What have we done to deserve this life we get to live as a family?
And yes, what I consider perfection, is completely dependent on my sole life’s experiences. My car has had tire issues, we have a bad window leak with tons of rain so we get to constantly put pans beneath it, and it’s been so humid my veggie garden was terrible this year and our outside time has been less than ideal…but that stuff is so minor to me now. On the grand scheme of it all, to me, my life is perfect.
We are planning our wedding and while that is stressful in itself, I’m just counting down the days to the celebration (and the calories to fit into my dress)! But we are learning a lot about our relationship in the process. Our most recent “session” with our Pastor left us high fiving each other. A relationship assessment we had taken came back with results our Pastor said were so impressive they were the best he’s seen for strength, success, and satisfaction in our lives together. Go us!
But why did we score so high in all of these areas of communication, expectations, financial management, child rearing, spiritual beliefs, relationship roles, time managements, etc.? Probably because God has brought us through major trials and tribulations. We’ve had to fast track our “growing up” with a seriously ill child. We had to buckle down on finances and learn to be completely transparent, in order to give up my working income. And we have had to be there for each other, through the scariest- heart and gut wrenching shit– that we have ever had to deal with. When we ponder how we got through it all…God. The success of our life and family we are building together is nothing short of the Lord’s work.
This post is basically a journal entry to myself. That I can reflect on when times get rough again, because they will, and that is life. I try to stop myself when I question why or how we got here and instead just be simply grateful. And while this period of life is so euphoric, I cannot take credit for any of it. All of the Glory goes to God.